I was watching a youtube livestream last night when someone superchatted about DoggyCoin (the right way to say it, by the way, not DDDOOOOGGGGJJJJZZZZZEEEcoin), and I immediately hopped on my trading accounts and transferred BTC to an exchange that handles DOGE, and bought 10,400 at a price of 213 satoshis (about 6 cents) each.

Now, we need to pump the hell out of DOGE, for any reason or no reason.  I don't care, I just want to make an enormous profit for nothing.