I have to concede that you are correct. The government is not a band of thieves. Thieves don't use violence or threat of violence to steal. Robbers do. The government is a band of robbers.
I quite like the alliteration of "Bandits with Badges".
Bandits Brandishing Badges.
Bandits Brandishing Badges Behave Belligerently Because Bad Bitcoining Begets Big Banks
Okay, that is the best I could do on short notice.