Well since you've broadcasted your transaction you should already consider it irreversible. It seems a little strange to me that it has taken more than a month. Although, I used to enter that small fee, it never disappointed me that much back in the 4-digit price days. You can't view it on block explorers, because they've probably removed it from their mempool. Do not forget, they run their own node. Any information you view from a block explorer is from the explorer's node based on the node' configuration. The default time for nodes to remove a transaction from their memory pool is 14 days. (If I'm not mistaken)

There may be nodes that still have your transaction on their mempool, but they are few. If you want to "cancel" it, you should double-spend the input. What does that mean:  Spend the same coins you spent on the previous transaction, but this time send them to one of your addresses.