as if people cannot leave this forum.
That's easy:
echo '127.0.0.1 bitcointalk.org' > /etc/hosts
Or for mortals:
sudo echo '127.0.0.1 bitcointalk.org' > /etc/hosts
Of course, you are correct: Satoshi is probably dead, or otherwise incapacitated. Nonetheless, I hope that Satoshi is alive and well. And that is the nature of Hope!
Best case scenario I can come up with: jail. And that's the best case, I don't have much hope for other scenarios.