Thanks @all - like I said - I wanted to skip having to waste days learning all the new ropes (software, sensible fees, new wallet formats - for every damned fork)... but looks like that's not possible (grr).
And to the skeptic lurking here, bzzt. nope. everything I said is true. (and yeah, to be fair, for every one of me, there probably are ten or a hundred others exactly like he described... but hey - I like being exceptional :-)