i cant forgive myself for not investing in bitcoin

Well – in hindsight everything is clear what one should have done or not. But being in the position at the time …

There has been new activity on your Mt.Gox account.
[…]
Bid(s) (Buy)
Order Filled at: Wed 26 Oct 2011 07:00:50 PM GMT
Amount: 22.30048500 BTC
Price: @$2.77500
Total: $61.88385
Order Filled at: Wed 26 Oct 2011 07:00:58 PM GMT
Amount: 1.17370810 BTC
Price: @$2.77500
Total: $3.25704
Sure I don't have this coins anymore. Sold them again right after … Same for some coins in 2013 (when it was @ 100) or 2015 or 2017 … Or all the ETHers I had in 2016 or …