These last two are the jokes to end all jokes, now I know this post is 100% bull.

Nobody runs windows

Nicehash, are you joking, they don't even let you mine to your own private key, they keep your mining winnings in their address, and they let you spend your money at their company store, nicehash is the biggest ripoff on the crypto planet.

Now I know for a fact you have never mined anything.