Let me see if I can help you guys figure a few things out :

A BOND is THIS : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bond_(finance)

A SHARE is THIS : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dividend

For those unable to follow links and in the simplest terms possible so that even the most retarded among you can follow along  :

A bond is a loan which pulls interest. It is a PROMISE to pay.
A share is a division of a company and pulls a share of the PROFITS usually called a DIVIDEND.

PICK one.