Correct me if I'm wrong, but 50 golden tickets drop out ~500 times less often than the 5k sats, and the chance to win Rolex in the wheel of fortune is one in a bln. So it looks like we will wait almost forever while someone wins Rolex and brag about it here.

Correct.
The chance of winning 50 golden tickets is 0.0025% and the chance of winning 5000 satoshi is 1.3%.
and the chance to win Rolex in the wheel of fortune is one in a bln.
No,
The chance of winning Rolex is 0.5 in 1 billion not 1 in 1 billion.
Evert time you spin the wheel, some mathematical calculations is done, a decimal number is obtained and is rounded to the nearest integer.
For winning Rolex, you must hit 1,000,000,000.
For hitting that number, the decimal number needs to between 999,999,999.5 and 1,000,000,000.