Here ya go bud.
This dude used to be a  devout Christian just like you, but unlike you, he came to his senses.
I know, I know,  I'm just beating a dead horse by posting here, but hey,
it is on topic after all, and I will admit to not adhering to that rule on occasion...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuRU-daTboM    PART 1  (posted 12/18/2020)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OePJrTM8f9g     PART 2  (posted last week)

 
Tell you what bud, watch both these vids in full  (that's 1 hour of your time) and let me know you did, I will merit you.
Yeah, I know you could just tell me you did when you didn't, but that's on you.
You are a Christian so I'm assuming you are honest, and wont lie.