PLEASE, stop spreading the microchip nonsense

One vial serves five doses of the vaccine, a little bit of it is wasted.
Stupid questions:
Which portion has the chip in it?
Are there enough chips in a vial that every of the five vaxxed persons is guaranteed to get (at least) one?
What if one or all persons gets more than one chip?
Will they connect and form a multiprocessor-unit?
If not, which chip will be the main one?
What happens to the other ones? An explanation for blood clots?
WTF.
Common sense seems to become even more rare than liquid bitcoins...
For the record I've had 2 doses of the Oxford jab . The 2nd I also had an extacy Pill and am fine