Obama will not DDoS forum

Obama will shut down Internet

OMG it is worse than I imagined...
Would America's reptilian overlord stoop so low as to turn off the internet using the magical internet keys?!?
http://time.com/27682/key-to-internet-pail-klane-british/If only I had bought stock in the internet so I could short it!
SELL! SELL! SELL!