It's not entirely individual, no. I think I started by saying there is a 'default' right and wrong which is whatever is defined that way by the conventions of the society. A personal right and wrong may differ from the default. There is huge pressure to conform, so in many instances the personal ideas of right and wrong may be suppressed in favour of going along with the crowd view in order to fit in.
We could consider homosexuality as an example. Over the course of the last fifty years, in many societies, the default (and legal) definition has migrated from being 'wrong' to 'right'. And obviously many people have suppressed their homosexuality, which they believe to be 'right', because society in general, or their peer group specifically, believed (or still believe) it to be 'wrong'.
We are getting very close to basic question I am thinking about: Where did that
default right and wrong come from? What do you think is the basic of this crowd view?
psychology is simple
its the thought of if the friend is banging her ex now. then her friend might/must have wanted to before the divorce and so thoughts of betrayal that the friend might/must have cheated with him whilst first marriage was going on. or that the female friend may have been less loyal to alice in the first place and just wanted some frank meat between her legs all along. pretending to be friend with alice just to get reasons to be near frank
yes it might not be the case. but thats not the point its what alice might be thinking could have happened
the other aspect is things like. alice the now ex wife cant have open conversations with mary about the divorce and complications of the first marriage because mary is now getting pounded by the very guy alice has negative thoughts about. so from a therapy stand point. alice cant openly vent her frustrations about frank to the woman now yearning for franks genitals. so its a loss of trust and companionship
its just basic psychology. no one wants to talk to a person knowing what they may say might get back to the other party they are talking about. no one likes to open up about someone where the person you are talking to might be biased towards the person your talking about.
its a trust and loyalty thing.
Nice. I understand. But Mary is not obligated to do psychology stuff for Alice, so it is not a reason to be angry to Mary if Alice started to thing that she cannot have opened conversations about Frank.