And what algorithm is that exactly? They always talk like one exists but I havent seen it yet.
What algorithm is quantum resistant that works with secp256k1 and exactly how it works that is kind of a mystery, dont you think?
It is not such a mystery, you can find a bunch of quantum resistant algorithms if you do a quick google search and I know there has been some small discussions among bitcoin developers in the past too. I can't give you algorithm names because I haven't done any research in that space but others more informed than I can respond here.
maybe the network could automatically move everyone's coins that way "no one gets left behind" otherwise satoshi might find out one day he's broke.
Only if bitcoin were centralized which it isn't!