If I die (let's be honest, that will probably happen), would my wife or family get my coins? What if they don't know my passwords/private key?
This is a question you need to ask yourself not the forum. I think there was similar question to this before now so you can always jump in to see similar replies for yourself. If you eventually die without disclosing your phrase with anyone, the that's nobody business. You can always get try as much to tell people around your secret phrase or where to get it, so they can steal from you...simple!
Why people always ask something that is not important in the forum? We don't know anything about your bitcoin assets. if anyone dies, we must always have preventive measures from every asset we have, not only bitcoin, communicated with his family, not in forums. because the asset you have is your responsibility and you should know what to do. if you have a close person or family, say your secret phrase to someone you trust, your bitcoins will be useful for other people