If I die (let's be honest, that will probably happen), would my wife or family get my coins? What if they don't know my passwords/private key?
If you die and no one else has access to your private key, your bitcoin is gone forever. This type of scenario is exactly why custodial services - at least up to now - are so important. Of course, there can be an overreliance on such services, but there need to be ways to pass on bitcoin to loved ones when one passes. I believe Charles Hoskinson has mentioned that this is a problem that must be solved in the industry.