Really good spirit, even though you have lost twice but that doesn't stop you to keep going. I suggest you try analyzing what errors you think you did before. Maybe the two defeats were caused by the same thing. So you can learn from the mistakes you have made. Before you start trading again, it looks like you need to understand the mistakes from the previous time.
I don't think it's just twice since OP just mentioned that recently been active at spot trading but decided to just stop because he's not doing any better. Well, OP should fix the problem first and that is how did he lose recently that's why it's losing its spirit to trade again. If he has that will to trade again then he really loves to trade although there's just a hindering part that causes him to feel anxious about it and decided to stop.
For OP, you should fix the problem first on where did you lose and what did you do during that time on why did you lose. The problem should be easy to fix if you could identify them.