To be perfectly honest, anyone who is using Bitcoin purely as a speculative asset and leaves their funds on a custodial exchange doesn't really own anything, in practice.  Is that the point you're not-so-subtly trying to get at?

On the other hand, those who use Bitcoin in the way it was intended to be used will have ownership of space in the ledger.  This in turn grants them financial freedom and independence, which some might argue you can't put a price on.  But you clearly don't care about that, so again, Bitcoin probably isn't the right investment for you.

If you value aesthetics above freedom, I'm sure some morally bankrupt opportunist will be more than happy to sell you some worthless NFTs.  That market exists solely to cater to those "on your level".