Regarding what Zelensky wanted or did not want, I'm not mind reader, so I won't make any conspiracy theories
about that...I wish he accepted
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minsk_agreements and gave up NATO membership, then
we would have much more clear situation, and Putin would have much harder job of convincing anyone, including
Russians, that he had to attack Ukraine
Nothing that Ukraine did or didn't do had any effect on the situation (unless of course they simply gave up and joined Putin's empire voluntarily).
Putin lied to the Russian people and created the obviously false narrative that Ukraine ("nazis") and/or NATO were going to attack Russia so he had to strike first. NATO has been on Russia's borders for decades. The new members joined NATO to defend against this exact shit that's going on now in Ukraine and it was a damn good decision that saved Estonia/Latvia/Lithuania - surely Putin would have gone there first and not to Ukraine if he could.
I compared current situation with Cuba crisis, BUT Ukraine in NATO would put Russia in jeopardy against conventional attack too.
Unlike conventional attack from Estonia/Latvia/Lithuania, conventional attack from Ukraine would put Russia in situation where only defense
would be use of nukes
In case of neutral or friendly Ukraine, for conventional war vs NATO Russia only has to close Suwalki gap
Its 100km vs 2300km border to defend
So, in your view, Ukraine cannot decide what to do because else Putin would not feel "secure" despite having a nuclear arsenal? Just think of it in in the opposite way: "Russian should demilitarise so that Ukraine feels secure". You see how absurd that is?