There are usually alternatives. And if not, then contact the merchant in question and let them know they've lost business by using BitPay.
This is what I'm saying. If they don't comply with my rules, which is much more usual with big businesses, I won't buy from them. There may be alternatives, but I won't get the same quality or the same quantity for the same price or even the same product as it may monopolize etc. Again, it's not as simple as "No privacy, no honey.".
This is what we should focus on. Encourage self-custody, encourage normal Bitcoin acceptance through self-hosted BTCPayServer or similar systems and inform / educate merchants that often simply don't have the knowledge to know the difference between BitPay and BTCPayServer.
I agree, we should play our part; it's personal responsibility in the end. I wonder, though, how much can those few affect.