Been a HODLer since 2013. Still buying every single day.  Haven't sold a singe sat.  Admittedly, next bull run I'm gonna leverage my BTC or scrape some profits. Nothing makes me happier than dangling it in my friends faces who have been screaming "SELL THAT SHIT WHILE YOU CAN" for 9 years. Now that it might actually threaten the USD, I'm gonna ask what I hope is a stupid question. 

How difficult (expensive, realistic, etc) would it be for the US gubmint to buy up enough mining power to hijack the network, change the rules, and send it all to zero?

Admittedly I don't know much about the technical side.  I buy it because I saw / see the value from a financial perspective.  I understand the basics, but when you'll start talmbout hash rates, I get lost like a goose in tall weeds.

Once someone can explain to me why it should cost the same amount of money to wire funds between 2 banks next door to each other, as it does to mail a fckn brick from Miami to Maine, I might weaken my bullish outlook on BTC. Not to mention they don't process transactions on weekends?  Why? Because the ladies poking the keyboards are "off"?  Okay Flintstones...... Until then, I'm still a buyer baby.

And please, ELI5