PHP is categorically horrible. PHP is an abomination. Next-door’s advocacy of PHP is like Elon Musk’s claim that Dogecoin is superior to Bitcoin;* well, it does show that Next-door is as smart and as credible as Elon Musk! Anyway—PHP is bad, bad, bad. End of story.
You either must have been constipated for years to come up with so much bullshit or lost a PHP programming job to a far better programmer.