Your post is amazing.
Almost everything you wrote is silly. Except somehow, some way, you understood what few people realize, that Nakamoto's system does nothing more than transfer integer numbers from one long string of letters/numbers (public address) to another. These integer numbers today are called Satoshis (in honor of), and the white paper does not mention the word bitcoin at all. The word "bitcoin" (when used used to represent the system's native token) is just a representation of an amount of satoshis, one bitcoin = 100.000.000 satoshis.
How you were able to understand this, and not understand anything else about how bitcoin (the network) operates or how it can be used as an electronic payment system, or the implications this could have to the future of finance in this world, is just mind blowing.