whereas Satoshi was most likely "poor" or at least unable to buy the latest hardware at the time,
How do you know what kind of hardware Satoshi was using? He never announced it publicly and he had access to decent enough system(s) that allowed him to mine bitcoin in very first days.
as the versions he used to code the first version of what is now Bitcoin Core were way outdated at the time; Windows XP, Visual Studio 6.
I don't know where you got this information from either but lets assume you are right.
Satoshi was developing bitcoin before 2009 (at least for a year so from 2007 to 2008).
A lot of Windows users never upgraded from XP to any of the versions released prior to 7 because of how terrible they were. And Windows 7 was release late 2009.
As for VS6 I'm having a hard time believing that since there is 7 released in 2003 and v6 is from 1998. This has nothing to do with being poor, why would someone use such an old version?
~a British-Indian guy who came out at a newspaper a few years ago explaining he was Satoshi,
Anybody who claims to be Satoshi in a newspaper is definitely not Satoshi. More so when they don't offer any proof.