They need to understand they can't have that unconfirmed option forever though.
Absolutely, but it would be a lot easier to make that argument if the numbers were flipped, and 60% of their business was via Lightning and only 15% via zero confirmation transactions. And we'll only get there with more time.
It should be as controversial as giving node operators the ability to change the appearance of the Core GUI.
This is obviously not the case. If every node on the network swaps to a dark themed GUI, nothing changes for anyone else. If every node on the network swaps from opt-in to full RBF, then a lot of things change for a lot of businesses and entities.