fake privacy
If it's fake, you would be able to point to my money right now. I'm using ChipMixer every once in a while, for comparably large amounts, such as my weekly payment. You don't know if I've spent that money, or if I'm holding, unless you're the first person to break ChipMixer. If I hadn't sent them over there, it'd be trivial to open up the spreadsheet and point to my receiving address. But, you can't.
Am I wrong somewhere? Do we understand the same privacy?
It won't and worse, it puts a target on the backs of Bitcoiners by regulators and gives them a talking point.
Notice your shift. You started with "I don't hate privacy", and now you're admitting that privacy protection is bad, because it puts us targets in the eyes of regulators. Does that imply that we shouldn't have privacy protection, regardless of whether it comes from a centralized service or from the protocol?