I expect no understanding.
I am really sorry for the delay.
You should have at least talked to him when things did not work out on your side, I believe shasan is someone who can listen and even give you some more time. It's sad that you had to ruin your account by going quiet, obviously members will think you are not to be trusted.
Your account a rank would manage to repay that loan within a month if you have participated in signature campaigns, contests and reviews.