Oh man... I'm wishing you from the bottom of my heart the best outcome.
I held my breath and i couldn't stop reading the post until the end. I've been though difficult timed myself those past couple of years too, in a different but still dramatic way.
You are one of the icons of the forum, and you have my respect.
I believe that you will recover completely and after many years this just gonna be a bad memory.

And people, the check ups are important, i lost my father the same way almost 10 years ago and my kids never had had the chance to meet their grandfather.

hard lesson learned the hard way and i have an appointment for the next year.