I'm almost tear up when I read your stories, well it's not easy to accept it especially the problem isn't from your bad habit, but it was when you born which is your destiny. I've remember you're already married, it's not that long if I'm not mistaken. But I believe you're have power and much stronger when you have your wife in your side, you have a reason to survive in this world and continue to live with your wife. I just hope everything will goes right as the initial plan....