which would/should have made it even more obvious/incombent upon the person purchasing to make sure they could verify the private key. otherwise they're just buying a string of alphanumeric characters
You don't need to convince me that OP messed up here. Obviously he should have imported the key, checked it worked, and then moved any coins to a new address under a key he controls. But he didn't do that, so he is left with the situation he is in.
where does it say they're going to "fine you thousands of dollars if you say things online that they don't like" ?
You can read the rest of the thread I linked for details. Anything that some unknown entity at PayPal deems as "
false, inaccurate or misleading" is classed as a restricted activity and can be fined. Pure censorship.