Gosh! Come on man. Don't get suicidal, no matter what the situation is. That won't solve anything, instead it will exacerbate the situation for those who care about you. I'm a father too and I can understand this pain of one losing their source of income. Yes, the hurtful words will come in torrents as this is ongoing but you've to grow a thick skin at a time like this by finding a way out. That way out should be centred on repaying the debts to both companies. Nothing else can be a better strategy. We all make mistakes and mistakes they say is a natural human flaw in all.