I read somewhere that closer to March, schizophrenic crises begin, and it looks like an exacerbation.
OP, a long time ago there lived a Persian philosopher, mathematician, astronomer, and poet named Omar Khayyam, and he has a nice verse about virtue.

"If you expect gratitude for the good,
You don't give goodness, you sell it."

You have a clear split personality; why the hell send money if you change your mind in the morning? The fact that yahoo62278 answered you like this is absolutely what you deserve.
Who are you to prove everything that you demand? You are free; if something confuses you, pass by.
It’s a very bad trait to look into other people’s wallets; it’s none of your business who wants to give and how much.
Who here appointed you as a judge?