I will legitimately do just about anything you could possibly need me to do for 1BTC. The only skill I have is welding so obviously that doesn't really help me out here but I'm sure one of you will think of something. I've got plenty of time on my hands: if my galaxy s4 is capable of it and you're willing to pay me, consider whatever it may be done. I will also consider taking a lower amount depending on what it is.
I've been thinking of a project for a while. Put my Galaxy S5 (S4 will work too) on my dashboard and have it record while I drive to/from my clients. Then later run it through processing software that will determine when a car makes an illegal move (lane change without signal, failing to fully stop at stop sign, etc) and store that infraction along with the license plate. Once you get a few thousand violations you post the offenders online and charge them to remove the listing!
Let me know when done and give me a BTC address to send to.
You're a monster.