Hello OP, losing is something we humans hate to accept as part of life, whatever we do we seems to forget that it is either we lose or win. When it comes to gambling I'd never advise anyone to borrow any sum of money to engage themselves in gambling no matter how sure I feel the game is. Is best you use what you have even if it's your whole savings in your account is ok but not someone else's money, just like your case now, you borrowed, used it and lost, who's to blame? You.
I can't really relate a better way of you paying back your dept because you must definitely pay back, with you thinking about commiting suicide, hmm. Is never the best option no matter what, like they say where I come from, as long as there's life there's hope so I urge you to face your challenges and exit suicide from you thoughts. Staying alive is the best option even if it's not for you but for your loved ones.