i suppose you don't offer escrow and you expect the coin or funds first. 
Nope. Escrow is welcome but escrow costs will be bearing by the seller.
I've used cryptoexchange.com/escrow for few exchanges.
Coin transfer should be in advance of cash withdrawal.
There are reputable escrow offers on bitcointalk. I would keep all trades here "in house", that's safer for everyone involved.
The costs are also not that high. The site you mentioned charges quite some %.
https://i.postimg.cc/ZWgW1TvJ/Screenshot-2023-05-10-at-14-07-24.png
Yeap! Totally up to you. Let me know what services are reputable here - we can try them also.