If it takes you 5 years to rank up then you are not putting enough effort in. There are a couple different threads where users can ask for a post review (make sure you qualify before posting). You also just need to try to contribute and eventually you'll start seeing merits come in. Try not to be discouraged if they don't come in 1 week. No reason to be in a hurry.

This theme is dedicated to celebrating various achievements, such as rank up. If @PytagoraZ doesn’t want to celebrate it, then he shouldn’t have written about it here and complained (describing some tosh with coffee, sleeping, dream and peeing). Get down to business, man. Stop whining.