but when restoring via xpub and xpriv, I see the same wallet as from the restore seed balance 0 and a small part of my wallets with old transactions, all my wallets start from 1
if you're seeing some of the transactions, then you are likely on the right path here. It could be that you're only seeing some of the addresses that have transactions because when you restore an Electrum wallet from seed you'll only see the first 25 addresses in the wallet. To see the other addresses you'll need to increase your gap limit. That might help.
Open your console and use this code to see 100 addresses. Change the "100" to whatever number you want to increase the number addresses visible.
[wallet.create_new_address(False) for i in range(100)]
Other than that, I think LoyceV is right, and you could have had an extra word or seed extension that you may have forgotten about.