You need to be careful because it's a sign to be a gambling addict if you deposit more money and you angry after you lose all of your money. Try to learn if gambling isn't for making money, if you think 15% of your income is big for you, you can reduce it to 5% or lower. In case you lose, it will not hurt you.
Remember, curing a gambling addict is really hard, prevention is better.
Yes, that's right, when we get angry because we lose it usually makes us deposit more money to play again and again, and when we get more angry we will lose self-control and increase the bet continuously in the hope that one win will return everything, but that is a stupid act and way which is great for spending money faster. I've experienced that, and spent my entire monthly salary in one night, but I've given up and don't want to do it again. This is very bad for me because I don't have any more money until next month. But that's in the past, I don't want to be stuck there
There are very few cases of being able to think freely and escape the narrow area of thinking about winning and losing in gambling, you may be a lucky case, not stuck and free from chaotic thinking in gambling while others still maintain a gambling regimen to this day, I have even seen a few people who have lost count of their failures. Their life is simply that of a person converting their labor into gambling expenses and repeating it every day, I felt that they understood the evil of gambling but the light and a warm embrace to pull them back didn't seem to exist.
You're exploring compulsive gaming's psychological depths, which is intriguing. This involves mental health, social training, and even death fear, not only odds. I know folks that play games because they feel good right quickly, while knowing how dangerous it is. They work hard to spend money, knowing they are doing nothing, like Sisyphus in modern times.
The light, pleasant hug you describe is hard to experience due to brain chemistry entrapment. Neurotransmitters like dopamine, which promote euphoria and reward, impair cognition.
Lets face it: gamblers have a statistically low chance of breaking this loop. The "lucky case" you described will likely happen again. Thus, this should not be seen as a bad habit but as a complex issue that requires counselling and money education.