I suppose blockexplorers connect to more nodes than any other default node or they run their own nodes with increased limits.
Connecting to more nodes wouldn't make a difference in the case where the transaction was above the default purge limit when it was broadcast, only if you now tried to broadcast a transaction below the default purge limit. If you only broadcast to nodes which won't relay your transaction, then the nodes with the higher limits will never learn of it.
i can ask op sender but other than that nothing they could do.
Who is the original sender? Someone somewhere has the ability to replace this transaction with one paying a decent fee. Who is that person?
If it doesnt drop does it stay there forever or something just sitting there as a transaction in the void type of thing?
Either you wait until the fee rate drops enough that it will be confirmed, or whoever sent you that transaction will use those inputs in another transaction and invalidate your transaction meaning you will never receive your money.