I think you have to understand that your life is first, your responsibility, and whatever comes from the outside is a help you should be grateful for. The best thing you can do for yourself is to get rid of that sense of entitlement that the government owes you anything - it will help you a lot.

As for the pressure on the first child, I chose to use it to my advantage. It encourages me to work hard knowing the responsibility i carry on my shoulder.