You have mentioned a lot of things that other people have a hard time overcoming

I wish I could give you a definite answer but there are way too many things inside my head that i can not even find the words to describe what is really the problem there are times where you feel happy and you feel as though everything is enough but there are some times where you still wish something better would happen it is a hard line to be between in on one side you have come to accept reality but on the other side you are wishing for a miracle