Boo! I want to use VAR
Unfortunately, considering that we're both Division 2 teams the friendly games are being played far away from shiny stadiums and the broad fans interest.
We were invited to a local tournament in Bulgaria. The pitch is 10 meters too short, the only stand fell apart and there's 1 toilet for both teams.
Most of the locals haven't even heard of VAR. There's 1 camera on the stadium because the locals steal iron support for the stands, but that camera was recently disabled.
There is 1 semi-blind linesman, he's making all the calls here. I kinda bribed him, but he'll never tell.
Telling a Division 3 team about camera and terrible pitch conditions? He knows better since most Division 3 matches are not broadcast, there are no cameras in their stadiums, and they play on a very rough, dry, open-air pitch; when it rains, everyone gets soaked; this is the league Hhampuz is from. Trofo, have you examined Hhampuz Stadium to ensure it fits Division 2 requirements? We do not want another Luton Town stadium here.

@CLS63 Do I have any BSFL side bet on your spreadsheet?