My idea would be to create a bank to safely store people's bitcoin and other crypto for people who just want to hold for a lot of time.
They would register with the passport or ID, it would cost 100 GBP + 1% to deposit and verify people's identities.
Then, to withdraw, it would take 3 months, they would have to show the passport and have a meeting via zoom once a month during 3 months stating they would want to withdraw, it would cost 300 USD plus 1% of the value.
It would compensate for people who want to hold for a lot of time without having security concerns.
It's either you are new to Bitcoin and don't know the relevance of Bitcoin yet or you know about Bitcoin but you haven't use it before that's why you are saying meaningless solutions for Bitcoin storage. Like don't you know that Bitcoin is decentralized and by that it means that nobody controls it and nobody hold anyone private keys. If you give your Bitcoin to any person and they run away, that means your Bitcoin is gone because no private keys to your Bitcoin and you can't spend it.
I will advice you, don't keep your Bitcoin in any platform that doesn't have private keys, it means you are losing ownership of your Bitcoin if anything happen tomorrow, in fact I will advise you to get a hardware wallet and put your Bitcoin there, it's as simple as that and not difficult thing to do but you need some money to get them and they are affordable.
Talking about creating a bank to safely store people's bitcoin, how about those people who have been storing most of their asset's in crypto wallet?and those assets has been there for a very long time. And is save and secured reason been that those crypto wallet has a passphrase which is also known as private key if you don't disclose this private key to anyone there's no way anybody will have access to your wallet either.however bank have the access to do whatever thing they wish to do in your account reason is because bank doesn't have private key, that is to tell you that crypto wallet is even more secured than bank.