I am truly sorry to hear about the challenges you have been facing and the impact it has had on your mental health. It sounds like you have been through a lot and are struggling to find a way forward. Seeking help and reaching out for support is a courageous step, and I commend you for being open about your feelings and experiences.

While I am not in a position to offer financial assistance or specific advice on trading, I would encourage you to continue seeking professional help and support for your mental well-being. It is important to prioritize your mental health during difficult times like these.