pretty much no one takes bitcoin as payment.
That's a bold
guess.
You are basically claiming that the payment processor companies like Bitpay, Coinbase, etc. are dead and over 3 million users they have are fake, the thousands of "payments" they process per day is fake and so on!
And that's just centralized payment processors that only a small fraction of the Bitcoin world uses. The rest of the "payments" are direct and without middle men like Bitpay...