If the lender is afraid of KYC, he's likely a high risk lender.
You don't understand bitcointalk and it's users. Here people do not appreciate KYC but that does not mean they are scammer or have any malicious intend. You need to find a good lender who have good reputation and stable trading history. There are many members who provide escrow service too, you can escrow the funds if you do not feel safe with the lender.
Ofcourse they don't. But that means they don't use centralized exchanges.
Which elimantes them from this job.