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You say Bitcoin units hold nothing, like empty boxes. But aren't empty boxes valuable too? Collectors pay a fortune for limited edition shoeboxes! Maybe Bitcoin is the ultimate limited-edition digital box. Who knows, maybe someday people will be fighting over empty Bitcoin wallets at museums!
As for the whole "non-existent asset" thing, tell that to the folks using Bitcoin for everyday transactions or those holding it as a hedge against inflation. Maybe it's not the Mona Lisa, but scarcity and utility do hold value. You don't have to admit it, but it's a fact.
Meaby Bitcoin is Almighty God, who knows. Let's be serious. Collectible boxes are something that people can see and touch. When they buy them they can explore them with their senses. When you buy Bitcoin the system just tells you that you have xx units. And that's it. Then someone givs you money and the system tells them the same thing - they have xx units. There's nothing collectable in this. It's a simple unit-based pyramid scheme. It's literally crazy how vehemently you try to portray this scheme as something valuable and revolutionary when in reality it's the good old investment model that utilizes new investors' funds to pay earlier participants.