Protip: Some of you guys just need to up your mousie game (also known as baby ratt).
i have a RAT 5 mouse from like a decade ago thats still going. close enough?
That's sick. Want it.

Who can beat a mouse/ratt that lasts for a decade?
I still have two first generation standalone bluetooth Apple trackpads which work fine with their latest Macs, bought in 2013.
One is used for my dayjob.
Much prefer the trackpad over a mouse. I use the pinch and zoom a lot as my eyesight is terrible.
It also just focuses my attention better on whatever I zoom into probably.
I've noticed that web browsers have become more reliable with zoom actually.
If you had a lot of zoomed in tabs, things used to go a bit crazy (no longer able to zoom at all until you restart the browser etc).
Not so much nowadays.