It seems every time I find something that looks promising, I'm just a sucker waiting to give someone else a payout. I have been following advice a gentleman offered to "hodl" my bitcoin, from $984 all the way down to now $436. I've just been fooling myself, telling myself "Don't worry hon, it will go back up! It always has!" I've been spending my time reading the forums and hoping. My friends called me crazy when I told them it's a sure thing. The shame is just as bad as the lost money. So I quit. You guys win. Coins sold.

Seriously? Did you think it wouldn't be extremely volatile? Did you never view your holding period as anything more than extremely short?
If you're not willing to hold for 5-10yrs, and understand that you could go through periods of being 90% down, then you are unfit to hold bitcoin (or any non-large-cap stock or bond, for that matter) as an investment.
The sooner weak-handed (weak minded??) folks such as yourself leave the bitcoin ecosystem, the better.
I do hope this experience spurs you to learn a thing or two about reasonable investment mindset and expectations, though. But please - don't come back until/unless you do learn.