No, I'm going to auction it off
If you get the file and the money starts moving, I expect 9 BTC
If they never move, I keep the bid
An auction? Why complicate everything, there are at least 2-3 people on the forum who can figure it out and help you, and in all seriousness you can trust them with your life.
Just stop being a stubborn pussy and take action, the years go by, you get old and bitcoin still stays there. You could get hit by a car tomorrow, you know?
Ask for help and we will help you choose a few trusted people here who will help you.